The Kling-On

Last year I attended a Christmas party hosted by a friend. Afterwards I went to the bars and ran into a guy that had been at the party. I think his name was Brandon, but I could be wrong. Anyway, we talk a little, and he convinces me to give him my number. I go home and not ten minutes later I start getting text messages.
"You looked really sexy tonight. We should hang out."
Okay, I'll admit, I am somewhat to blame for responding. However, I was bored with life at the moment and figured, what the hell, I should live a little. I tell Brandon (?) that we should hang out tomorrow night.

The next night my friend Kylie and Michelle and I were watching marathons of The Santa Clause (we rock) when Brandon came over to join us. He mentions having lived in Texas, so being the polite host that I am, I ask why he is now in Kansas. Bad idea. This launches a 15 minute diatribe on how his parents got divorced, his mother is a dirty whore who he hasn't seen in 10 years, and he may or may not have a half-sibling that attends K-State. Whoa! Dude is crazy!

Now, I am trying to figure out a polite way to get him to leave. I move to the opposite side of the couch and lean against it. Instead of realizing that I am trying to distance myself from him, Brandon sees this as an invitation and lays up against me. Did I mention that we met the night before? I begin talking with Kylie and Michelle, and mentioning how crazy I am. This has the opposite effect and he just cuddles closer. Finally I mention having to get up early for class, so he gets the hint. I give him a church hug (read: chest forward, hips back so there is no contact with the pelvic areas) and send him on his way. Again, not ten minutes later:
"You looked really sexy tonight"
This time I am a little smarter and just ignore him. I made a mistake, now that uncomfortable moment is over. Except it's not.

The next day I get about ten text messages from him, which I ignore. Then, he leaves me a five minute long voicemail about how bad he wants to hang out with me and he hopes I didn't have beer goggles when I met him. This is all very attractive from my standpoint.
The day after, (we're at day four since meeting), I message him saying that I'm just not that interested. He then proceeds to get angry. One memorable text message read; "You know, I have a word for people like you, who don't respond to text messages (even though I had, telling him to buzz off): a CRAZY LIBERAL!" I never mentioned any thing concerning politics, so I can only guess that he did a bit of facebook stalking. Now, riddle me this, what on earth do my political views have to do with not wanting to date Mr. Nutbag? I'm pretty sure any self-respecting conservative girl would have felt the same. Also, keep in mind that we had known each other for FOUR days, and our only contact consisted of watching the Santa Clause with two of my friends. By the fifth day I enlisted the help of my friend Morgan, who is bigger than Brandon, to call him. I'm not sure what Morgan said to Brandon, but I haven't heard from him since.

Moral of the Story:
Don't respond to "You're so sexy text messages" from someone you just met.